1. Don't contact a lawyer first: Many people believe that the first logical step when faced with divorce is to contact a lawyer. In majority of cases it is the most illogical first step. The logical first step is to lay the ground work; understanding rights, knowing current financial, legal and medical conditions and getting emotions in check.
2. Get your emotions in check- No matter how well you believe that you are handling divorce, it is still a major life change. Take time to get emotions in check either by yourself or with the help of a professional. Many couples engage in pre-marital post-divorce counseling can't hurt.
3. Know your rights and options- An educated consumer is a wise consumer. Read up on state laws, physically go to the court house and figure out the landscape.
4. Develop a personal support network- divorce is going to be tough, don't try to go it alone. Friends want to be there for you, let them.
5. Use a professional team approach- many people hire a lawyer to handle all aspects of divorce. Remember, most lawyers are not trained in all of the other areas. Lawyers practice law; most are not also accounts, financial planners, asset valuators or insurance agents. Put together a complete team and have them work as a team to be sure all needs are met.
6. Get clear picture of present circumstances; evaluate current legal, financial and medical conditions. This will include knowing the value of assets, the extend of liabilities.
7. Set pre-divorce co-parting rules. Decided on the logistics which parents will have parenting time when. Also put rules in place regarding interactions with school and activities introducing the children to new loves and day to day parenting.
8. Clarify your need and want_ Going through the process without clarity tantamount to shooting darts in dark. Know what you need and want as early in the process as possible.
9. Set settlement parameters The divorce process can become confusing, and proposals will go back and forth, often leaving us confused. Setting and writing out settlement parameters will keep focus and prevent accepting a settlement that does not make legal or financial sense.
10. Exhaust every possible settlement method before going to trial. When a divorce proceeds to trial the parties not only loose control over how thing will play out, but will incur significant legal expense. Try private mediation, arbitration and any court sponsored programs available.
